I'm Normaaaaal!
by Incipit
Summary: 7 years in the future. Zim has learnt the truth of his mission and decides to try live his life peacefully on Earth. Dib isn't convinced. Throw in an insane Tak bent on revenge and a Swollen Eyeball member. R&R Please!
1. Chapter 1: No more ZIM! Oh, wait

Notes:  
This is my first fanfiction EVER! Any comments and/or suggestions would be much appreciated :)  
There is no particular reason why I added dates. I just thought it tied up the story nicely.  
This is a VERY short chapter and I can assure you that other chapters are much longer. Call this an introduction of sorts.

**Note: I do not own Invader Zim.**

Chapter 1: No more Zim! Oh, wait…  
_**Monday, January 16**__**th**__** 2023**_

Dib Membrane was 19 years old and about as excited as a kid at Christmas. It was his first day of university, studying the paranormal, and… NO MORE ZIM! For seven years Zim had been in every single class with him. But Dib hadn't seen Zim since high skool graduation. He had spied on Zim's House occasionally during vacation but never saw the alien leave it. Nothing was going on inside.

_Maybe he's gone back to his planet!_

Dib practically skipped downstairs. For once, life was good.

Gaz was in the kitchen shoveling cereal into her mouth and she didn't even look up as Dib entered the room. Dib was whistling merrily as he grabbed a hot slice of toast from the toaster, threw jam onto it and ate it in three gigantic bites. He walked up to Gaz and squeezed her.

"Good morning my scary little sister!"

"Dib, if you don't let go of me now I will chew off your fingers in your sleep." Gaz threatened him calmly.

Dib let go of her and smiled, "I love you too, sis!"

Before Gaz could react, Dib was out of the door and dashing towards his car.

**-X-**

Dib arrived at the new campus and looked around. He sighed happily and walked across the parking lot. His paradise didn't last long, though. The smile was instantly wiped off of his face when he saw a familiar green figure walking just in front of him.

_No…_

It was Zim. Zim had showed up at THIS college? Dib's shoulders slumped.

_I'll never be rid of him._

Dib ran to catch up with the invader.

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Hello, Dib-squeak." Zim said flatly, looking ahead of him.

"I asked you a question, Zim."

"Doesn't every normal earth larva go to a tertiary institution?"

"You're not even human!"

Dib's good mood had been grinded to a screeching halt. There was no point in arguing with Zim. Zim was here and there was nothing Dib could do about it.

_I guess there's a bright side. I could keep an eye on Zim on a daily basis._

What Dib wondered, though, was why hadn't he heard anything from Zim for so long.

**-X-**

The entire week went by without incident. No giant robots, no mutant rodents, no dookie in the meat supply, no laser guns or anything else of the sort. That didn't mean that Zim had stopped teasing Dib. The name-calling continued as usual but that was about all.

Strange behaviour for the alien but Dib definitely wasn't going to take the peace for granted. Unless Zim was planning something REALLY big.

Dib just had to be prepared for anything.


	2. Chapter 2: Nix

Notes:  
I'm not sure whether to categorize this character as an OC or not. She is a small character that appeared on one episode and I have, obviously, elaborated on her and given her a real name.

**I do not own Invader Zim**

Chapter 2: Nix  
**_Saturday, January 21st 2023_**

Dib jumped in front of his computer eagerly. He switched on the screen… and… YES! A message from Agent Tuna Ghost. He wasn't sure why he was so excited to hear from her.

"Agent Mothman. Looks like I'm transferring to your university next month. It's the only place that offers a decent education on the paranormal. (By the way, my name is 'Nix'. Don't go calling me 'Agent Tuna Ghost' in front of everyone.)"

Dib stared at the screen momentarily.

_Is she joking? No… She's not like that. Is she? Why am I getting so worked up about this?_

"Because you LIKE her," The voice from behind him made Dib jump.

"What the hell, Gaz? How do you manage to sneak up on me like that…?" He paused, then, "And how'd you know what I was thinking?"

Gaz grinned malevolently at him and then left the room.

_Weird…_

"I HEARD THAT!" Gaz screamed from down the hall.

Dib shook his head and proceeded to reply to her. He had so many questions. He had no idea she was his age. And how did she know what university he was going to?

Either way, he was happy he was going to have someone on his side.

**-X-**

That month could not have gone by more slowly. The days droned on (more than usual) but nevertheless Dib was in a constant good mood. Even Zim's unending insults had no effect on him. Being called a "filthy, big-headed, vile-smelling meat-child" did not faze him in the least. And better yet, the alien would get more and more agitated every time Dib ignored him.

"You dare ignore me? _Meeeee_?" The invader would sometimes shriek, "The almighty, all conquering ZIM? Pi-ti-ful, stinking, dirty, sticky, moosey HYOO-MAN!"

**-X-**

_**Tuesday, February 21st 2023**_

The day the "new-girl" arrived on campus wasn't particularly special for anyone but Dib, who stood waiting at the main entrance.

A car pulled up and out climbed a girl he didn't recognize.

_This MUST be her. _He grinned. He'd finally have a friend he could count on. She'd be the only person on earth who didn't think him insane.

Tousled, obsidian coloured curls fell around her shoulders. She walked leisurely towards him. She wasn't the epitome of style or beauty. Nix wasn't ugly either. She was plain, short, cute and wore an oversized sweater that hung loosely over her slim frame.

"Dib! I saw you and I immediately knew who it was. Not sure how, but I knew." She hugged him, "It's going to be nice having a friend who's so much like me."

"So you're… Agent Tuna Ghost?"

Nix crouched over, her eyes darting from side to side. She pulled Dib closer and whispered, "Shhh! Someone might hear you!"

"Who's going to hear us?"

Nix looked around again and when she was confident that no one was listening she stood up straight, "Yes, I am. But don't call me that."

"You look… Different. Your hair… And I thought you were older."

"I know. That's the secret." She winked.

**-X-**

As they walked to their first class together, Nix didn't stop talking for a moment and Dib listened intently, absorbed in the conversation. In his bewildered state he almost walked into three other students, two teachers, a wall and tripped over a loose brick.

"So where's this alien you keep talking about?"

"Zim?" Dib's eyes scanned the campus, "I didn't see him today."

Nix looked almost disappointed.

"He doesn't usually miss a day. He's probably sitting in his lab planning our doom. I'm sure he'll be here tomorrow to carry out his plan of ultimate destruction and carnage."

Nix thought for a while.

"Why would he enroll himself into a university?"

Dib shrugged, "Not sure. To look 'normal'?" Dib made sarcastic hand gestures with the last word and said it mockingly.

"Maybe he wants to learn about us?"

"I doubt it. All he wants is to see the human race completely eradicated. Why would he want to know more about us?"

"I think you misunderstand him."

Dib stopped to look at Nix, "No, no, he makes himself pretty clear."

She tilted her head quizzically.

"You'll see what I mean when you meet him."


	3. Chapter 3: Fascinating

Chapter 3: Fascinating

**Wednesday, February 22nd 2023**

Contrary to Dib's original assumption, Zim had not in fact come to campus the following day to wreak havoc on the human race. The previous day GIR, attempting to bake a completely inedible cake, had set the kitchen alight. As a result Zim was in an even worse mood than usual.

At lunch, for the first time ever, Zim saw the Dib-rat sitting with a friend. _Frrriiieennd_. What an utterly disgusting concept. Invaders need no companions. What a typically pathetic _huuuman_ thing to have.

Zim had observed that every human requires a friend. The species' dependence on social interaction was bizarre to Zim. But even so, he had never, in seven years of knowing the Dib-creature, seen _him _with a friend.

He was wondering why they hadn't noticed him watching them when:

"Hey Zim! Where were you yesterday?"

"Why do YOU care Dib-thing?" Zim turned his attention to the female who was saying nothing but staring at him with the utmost fascination. Zim would've hated to admit that it was making him slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh. No. Just asking."

Zim paused a moment before saying, "Your head is _FREEEAAAKISHLY _huge!"

Dib ignored him and returned to his food and so did the female. They occasionally whispered to each other and once or twice glanced in his direction.

Filthy, earth monkeys. Zim thought to himself and strode away.

**-X-**

"Was that him?"

"Yup."

"How do people NOT notice?"

"He says he has a 'skin condition'." Dib waved his fork around, flicking bits of food everywhere in the process.

Nix irritably pulled a bit of cheese out of her hair, "A skin condition would explain him having no nose or ears?"

"Apparently."

"Fascinating."

Dib continued eating. Nix stared at her food in thought. There was only one way in which her and her new found friend differed. Dib believed Zim should be on an autopsy table, have his organs pickled and put on display. Nix believed Zim should be studied, observed but respected. This was a being from another part of the universe! How much we could learn about their technology, their culture. How could we kill a specimen we could learn so much from? She watched Zim walk away.

_I must learn more._

**-X-**

**Thursday, February 23rd 2023**

The following day at lunch, Dib and Nix were sitting outside when Zim marched past them, hands curled into tight fists, his arms rigid by his sides and he was muttering irritably about something. Nix jumped up and ran after him.

"Zim!"

Zim ignored her and stomped forward.

"Hey!" Nix ran up next to him, jogging to keep up, "Don't ignore me, I know you can hear me!"

Zim didn't even look at her.

She frowned and ran in front of him. Zim stopped and glowered at her. His eyes narrowed and he lunged at her. Inches from her face he screamed, "WHAT?"

"You're Zim, right? I'm Nix." She smiled and held her hand out.

He stared at her extended hand, unsure what she expected of him. He stood back slightly.

Seeing his confused expression she said, "Oh, right. Well, by Earth customs-"

He abruptly interrupted her, "But I'm, I'm _normaaaaal. _Just an normal human worm-baby."

"I know you're an alien, Zim. I'm also a paranormal investigator."

"ANOTHER human sent to pitifully attempt to but fail to destroy _Ziiiim_?"

"No, I don't want to see you killed. I just want to talk. Now, I have introduced myself, you should shake my hand."

He stared at her hand again, grabbed her wrist and, quite literally, shook her hand around for a bit.

"There. Happy? You creepy humans with your creeeeepy rituals."

Nix laughed, "No, um, it's like this," She reached for his hand but Zim jerked it away.

"Do you think you are so privileged that you may touch the hand of ZIM? Leave my hand!"

"Why?"

"Because I find it distasteful and intrusive. You're weird, don't touch me."

"Ok," She surrendered and put her hand in the pocket of her jeans, "I respect that."

Zim just blinked at her, for once, speechless and then walked away from her.

_Fascinating. _Nix thought to herself before walking back to a very bemused-looking Dib.

**-X-**

Zim couldn't believe that the human relented and actually _listened _to him. For the first time since he'd been on this wretched planet, someone had accepted what he said and left him alone. She was the only other life form that knew who he was and didn't wish him cut open. Besides those eccentric alien worshippers that had found his voot cruiser but they were scary and odd and they didn't count.

_Fascinating. _

**-X-**

"I will speak to him more tomorrow. I think he's had enough of me for one day."

"He looked almost _scared _of you at a point."

"I think he's just not used to someone being nice to him. He didn't know how to react."

Dib sat up, "Why would you be nice to him?"

"Don't you think someone from a possibly superior race deserves some respect?" Nix snapped.

"'Superior'? 'SUPERIOR'? Are you mad? They're trying to destroy us!"

"How long has he been here on Earth? Six, seven years? And nothing has ever happened. I think if they were trying to annihilate us, they would have done so long ago."

Dib had never thought about it that way before. He was perfectly aware of "Operation Impending Doom" but maybe Zim wasn't as important to his race as he made it seem. Then why send him here at all?

"So can you explain Zim's hostility?"

Nix shrugged, "I think perhaps he feels we're a barbaric race, which for the most part we are, but nevertheless no one has ever shown him otherwise."


	4. Chapter 4: A Stupid Mistake

Chapter 4: A stupid mistake

**Friday, February 24th 2023**

Zim sat on a bench alone and stared at the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he saw someone sit down next to him. He didn't need to look up, he knew who it was.

"What was your name, female human?"

"Nix."

Zim turned to look at her, "I saw you and the Dib-pooch argue yesterday."

"Yup. But everything's fine now."

Zim scoffed.

"Can I ask you a question, Zim?"

"If you must."

"Why were you sent here?"

"To prepare your planet for conquer by the Irken army." The invader shook his fists.

"Then why haven't the Irkens wiped us out yet?"

Zim went a strange shade of green and looked away despondently.

"That's none of your business, girly _huuuman_." He spat the last word out harshly.

"I see. Well, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Zim looked back up at her, he seemed to have gone back to his usual complexion. Nix gave him a kind look.

"Why do you not hate me like every other _filthy _meaty human pig does?"

"I don't have a reason to hate you."

He jumped up onto the bench and looked down at her, "But I am here to destrooooooyy yooooouuuu!"

"It sure doesn't seem that way. I think if you were going to, you would've by now." She laughed, got up and walked away, "Bye, Zim. See you tomorrow."

He gaped at her for a while. Again he was rendered speechless. By The Tallest, she made him so angry he wanted to scratch her eyes out. Yet he couldn't bring himself to think so violently of her. Zim sat down again. She had hit him in a weak spot that day, and it didn't seem that she wanted to exploit it. It almost seemed as if she wanted to… Help him. No, it was impossible. Then he thought of the last thing she said to him.

_"See you tomorrow."_

It echoed in his mind a little until he realised…

… Tomorrow is Saturday.

**-X-**

**Saturday, February 25th 2023**

Nix had got the address from a reluctant Dib who insisted it was dangerous and she should not go alone. But she knew that if she didn't go alone it would only raise the alien's fury. Nix didn't need to double check the address, the House stood out enough. She walked to the front door and could've sworn the garden gnomes were _watching _her. More than likely.

She knocked on the door and almost instantly it was answered by two robots that chorused a mechanical "Welcome home, son!" Nix stood at the door, unsure of what to do when a smaller robot with blue eyes walked past, saw her, squealed (in delight?) and pulled her in.

Nix stood in the middle of what looked like a normal(ish) TV room while the little robot danced circles around her crooning, "Wheeeeeeee, a friend! A friend! Look! I baked-ed a cake!"

Out of the robot's head popped a green cake-like something with pickles sticking out of the icing. Nix gagged and declined. For a split second, the robot looked hurt but then perked up almost instantly and laughed loudly.

"GIR!" The commanding voice came from, what Nix assumed to be, the kitchen; "WHAT, in the name of all…" The alien stopped and gasped loudly when he saw the human intruder in his living room.

Nix took a step back. She studied his appearance; Zim's eyes were bright ruby and instead of the ridiculous hairpiece were two long antennae.

She stammered, "I-I, uh, I'm sorry to barge in on you, Zim. It's just that y-your robot…"

"GIR!" Zim turned to his incompetent servant, "How many times do I have to tell you that a security breach is a compromise to our mission?"

GIR was silent a moment before replying, "Two thousand, six hundred and seventy four times, Master." GIR beamed, apparently very pleased with itself.

Zim fumed for a few second before turning back to Nix, "This is an offensive intrusion and I will not tolerate it!" Mechanical spider legs burst out from his PAK and he raised himself above her.

"I'm sorry, Zim. I just wanted to come talk to you. I did say I'd see you tomorrow. Yesterday. So that's today." Nix was surprised by her own fear. She shuddered with terror at the thought that Zim might actually kill her. Dib had warned her that he was dangerous.

_But no, I just HAD to be stubborn. _

"GET OUT! You make me twitch." Anger flashed across Zim's glossy eyes.

Nix stared up at him, feeling very inferior, "You're right, I should not have invaded your privacy like that. I invited myself into your home and it was wrong of me." She turned and left.

She had never felt so guilty in her life. The last two days she felt like she was slowly earning the Irken's trust and now she wasn't sure if he'd ever trust her again. Every opportunity to learn more about him had been lost on thoughtless curiosity. Nix walked the few blocks back to her house slowly, metaphorically kicking herself all the way.


	5. Chapter 5: Invaders need no one

Notes:  
Yes I am perfectly aware of the fact that it came out quite early in the show that Zim could use paste to shield himself from water.

Chapter 5: Invaders need no-one

**_Monday, February 27th 2023_**

Wet, cold, rainy Monday morning came and Nix told Dib all about Saturday's events.

"He didn't try to hurt you did he?"

"I think he wanted to, but didn't."

"I hope that's a lesson learnt."

"Yeah I s'pose." Nix stared at the floor. She was crushed, "I didn't want to become enemies."

"Zim won't ever be friends with anyone. He doesn't understand us and we don't understand him. We weren't meant to."

Nix rested her head on Dib's chest and sniffed, "He hasn't even come to campus today and it's probably my fault"

Dib put a comforting arm around her shoulders, "Zim's allergic to water. He wouldn't leave his house in this weather." Dib suppressed a fit of laughter that came with the memory of watching Zim squirm in the rain.

Suddenly, Dib felt someone prod him in the back. He spun around and saw Zim standing there, finger still outstretched.

"But… You're… I give up." He spluttered at the alien.

"I'm not revealing my secrets to you, _Diibb_. Or you might just use it against me! You!" His finger pointed at Nix accusingly, "I wish to speak to you."

Dib walked out of earshot but was still close enough to watch them.

"Zim, I'm-" Nix began timidly.

The invader held up his hand to silence her, "I forgive you, tiny dirt louse that you are-"

"Tiny? I'm the same size as you are!" Nix snapped, patience wearing thin.

"DO NOT INTERRUPT ZIIIM!" The Irken threw his hands up in the air in frustration, "You have my forgiveness because you are ignorant, over-eager, relentlessly persistent and haughty so I cannot expect you to be as knowledgeable as _meee_."

_Why you self righteous, little sh-  
_"Thank you, Zim." Nix grinned and bit her tongue, hoping she didn't sound too sarcastic. As conceited as the alien was, she didn't want to risk his confidence in her again, "It won't happen again, I assure you."

"Of course it won't. You fear me! Pitiful, squirming huuuman!"

Nix would never dare roll her eyes in front of him. She changed the topic, "So how is it that you can be in the rain now?"

"Zim is a genius! My brilliant and utterly _a-maaaaa-zing _brain has discovered a most clever solution. PASTE!"

"Paste?"

"Ye-ess. PASTE! I bathe in it." Zim paused in thought for a moment, "Why am I conversing so deeply you?"

And with that, Zim sauntered off without another word. Nix was satisfied that everything was back to normal (if that's even the right word) with her and the alien she desperately wanted to know so much about.

**-X-**

Dib watched Zim scream something about paste and then suddenly, but not aggressively, walk away from Nix. Dib sensed the conversation was over and walked up next to her with his hands in his pockets.

"So?"

"I think that went well."

"He didn't threaten you?"

"No."

"Or belittle you?"

"Not really."

"Or tell you he hates you?"

"Nope." Nix smirked, "He certainly doesn't hate me."

Dib smiled down at his friend. He didn't necessarily agree with her and what she believed about Zim, but if she was happy, then he was happy too. As he looked at her he began to feel a warmth spreading through him and he could hear his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest.

_I shouldn't be feeling like this about a friend._

"Anyway, we should get to class." Nix nudged Dib in the ribs and they began walking together. When they had to cross through the rain, she ducked under his arm and covered herself with his long coat.

_I wonder if she feels the same…_

It was final; Dib was utterly besotted with his best and only friend. And to think she was nothing more than another Swollen Eyeball silhouette on a screen for many years of his life.

**-X-**

_**Tuesday, February 28th 2023**_

A slightly sunnier Tuesday arrived and Zim was lying on the grass in the shade of a tree. Nix sat down next to him.

"May I?"

"Yeah, sure whatever." The alien answered indifferently.

Nix lay with her head next to Zim's, "Tell me about Irkens, Zim."

The invader let out a lengthy sigh, "You don't ever give up, do you?"

Nix tilted her head and grinned broadly at him.

Zim looked her up and down, "You stink like flowers."

"Thank you."

They were silent for a moment then Zim spoke: "Irkens have a plan to conquer every planet in the universe. The Tallest have sent me on a very secret and special mission to this…" he lifted his arm and waved his hand around dramatically, "spinning ball of _filthy_!"

"What're 'The Tallest'?"

"The Tallest are our cherished leaders."

"Height is what determines leadership?"

"Yesss!" Zim hissed, shocked at the human girl's ignorance, "I believe that I shall one day be tall."

Nix eyed him, "How tall are your Tallest?"

"Taller than yours."

"And you're short, Zim. Short like me."

_Arrogant female._

"Zim is destined for greatness. GREATNESS!"

"Mmm."

"Indeed."

Another few moments of silence.

"Have your Tallest forgotten you, Zim?"

Zim flinched; again Nix had struck the same weak spot.

"Of course they have not!" Even as he said that, the alien looked away.

Nix had her answer. Zim knew it. He just wasn't ready to confide in anyone.

_Invaders need NO ONE!_

**-X-**

Dib sat at a table alone. This was familiar. Lunchtime, on his own at one huge table staring at Zim who was also alone at one huge table.

There were three people on campus that had not been invited to the party. Zim; because he spoke to no one and when he did he freaked them out, Dib; because everyone thought he was crazy (yes, even the students who studied the paranormal with him) and Nix for being friends with both Zim and Dib. All Dib had heard about for the entire week was this party. He didn't really mind not being invited though.

Dib stared at Zim sniffing his food when a couple of giggling girls caught his attention. He tried to figure out the cause of the bothersome tittering when he saw that they were looking at Zim. Dib raised an eyebrow when one of the girls was pushed in Zim's direction and encouraged to approach him. The tall blonde girl tapped Zim on the shoulder and the invader screamed and spun around, almost knocking her in the face in the process. Dib grinned. Someone had a crush on Zim. Would've thought?

He watched Zim gawp dumbfounded at the girl who shuffled her feet shyly and said "um um um um um" repeatedly.

Dib couldn't have timed it more perfectly if he rehearsed it: the girl managed to say "Would you like to…" when Dib lobbed a bologna sandwich directly at Zim's head.

Dib collapsed into a fit of laughter as Zim screamed. He flayed his arms around, knocking the girl down to the floor with him. Dib's eyes stung with tears as he doubled over watching Zim thrash about mercilessly on the floor, screaming bloody murder. Needless to say the girl stood up, dusted her skirt and stomped off in a huff.

Dib's day was made.

**-X-**

Zim was unsure whether to be grateful because it saved him speaking to the stinking human girl or whether to be violently angry. Violently angry was the option.

_Wretched, puny-brained Dib-monster._

How dare he? How very DARE he?

_Gargantuan-headed meat beast._

Zim stood up angrily and eyed Dib who was still too busy snorting with laughter to notice. Zim picked up a slice of bread from the floor, trudged forward furiously and jumped onto the table in front of the Dib-swine. Dib stared up at him, the befuddled expression on his face infuriating Zim even more.

Zim pointed a shaking finger at Dib, "You disgust me." He sneered.

He lifted his hand and swiftly struck Dib across the face with the slice of bread.

"HAH! Take THAT, Dib-stink!" Zim laughed maniacally, jumped back off the table and walked off.

He heard Dib say, "Did you just… bread-slap me? Come on! Zim? You slapped me with _BREAD_!"

Zim ignored him and left the cafeteria in a triumphant mood.


End file.
